Family and Relationships

Trust issues with your partner? Fix your relationship problems!

Whether you are in love, or already married, trust issues isn’t something new. I have seen couples having trust issues even after staying married for over 20 years! So, what’s actually up with this trust issue? Why does your partner doubt you? Is your partner abusive and egoistic? Who’s cheating on whom? How to improve relationship with your wife or husband?

Today, let me focus on 2 things that can probably break a relationship. The first one is your partner cheating on you and the second one is mental and physical abuse by your partner.

Your partner is cheating on you

One of the core elements of a relationship that makes it stronger is trust. If you believe that your partner is cheating on you, the first step is to find out the truth. There are several instances where what you see and what the reality is, are different. What happens is, when you believe that your partner is cheating, no matter what they do, you will start to find them suspicious of hiding something from you at every instance. More or less, this could be arising out of your stern belief that “Yes, my partner is cheating me” types. What could you possibly do?

Find below some of the things that you could do. Make sure your mind is calm and composed throughout to ensure a good result. First of all, take a deep breath and relax

  • Talk to your partner. There’s a very good chance that they are NOT cheating on you
  • If your partner does not open up, request them to do so. Inform your partner that you’re ready to show anything that they ask for, just to prove yourself (Trust me, this helps)
  • Be nice to your partner when you talk to them about these things, as no one likes to be “investigated and caught” in any circumstance.
  • If your partner agrees that they’re cheating, ask them to come out clean and give them a second chance. A lot of times, the mess happens unintentionally.
  • If your partner disagrees to having a relationship with anyone, be it casual or a serious one, ask them to show the calls, messages, emails and any other form of proof that may convince you. But remember, this will not prove or disprove anything – This is just for your peace of mind (I know a lot of people cheating on their partners yet have nothing on their phones or emails. Sic.)

Your partner is abusive

Physical or mental abuse is definitely one of the worst kind of a human behaviour that should never be tolerated. If your partner is rude and abuses you physically or mentally, ask them to STOP it immediately. Rather, stop it the very first time he/she does it. No matter how much you love your wife, husband, girlfriend or boyfriend, there should never ever be any sort of abuse. If the abuse continues, of course go ahead and file a police complaint. Leaving the legal option aside, what could you possibly do?

Find below some of the things that you can. Like I said above, even in this instance, make sure your mind is in a relaxed state to ensure you get the best out of the helpless situation. First step is to take a deep breath and relax for a while

  • Talk to your partner and inform them about their behaviour. Most likely, when you make them realise how you feel, they may fine tune their attitude and buck up.
  • If your partner refuses to listen to you, make a sincere and an honest request for them to stop their unruly behaviour. Inform your partner that you’re ready to change yourself (if need be and if possible) and see if that helps. This can work as your partner might be expecting a change in you. (you never know, we can also be wrong at many times)
  • Be humble and good to your loved one when you discuss about the abuse with them. It should be a soft and an emotional talk rather than an “investigation” type.
  • If your partner agrees to the abuse and feel sorry about it, thank them and ask them to stay nice going forward. A lot of times, mess happens unintentionally and your partner might never wanted to abuse you, at the first instance.
  • If your partner disagrees to stop the abuse and gets more angry on you, follow the above 5 steps again. If it does not work, do all that you can to find a new life for yourself. DO NOT stay with them or in the same house. Abuse should always be exposed and opposed. Go ahead and explore the legal options.

Mistakes happen. Forgiveness is kindness

As humans, we make mistakes. While at the first place this shouldn’t have happened, there’s nothing much you could do if it already has. The best way to resolve it is by forgiving the other person wholeheartedly. It’s imperative to understand that after all, it’s YOUR husband, YOUR wife, YOUR boyfriend or YOUR girlfriend who’s done this. So, be kind and understanding in this matter, and please treat your loved one with respect. I again repeat, mistakes happen, and you have to be to be kind enough to forgive them. Hatred and anger will not take you anywhere.

I understand that it’s easier said than done, as it takes a lot of guts to overcome the truth. However, on a long run, this will only benefit you. Remember, getting in to a fight with your partner is easy and it only spoils the relationship. Instead, look at it from another point of view as this can help you overcome it with grace.

And here are my final words that’s very important – If nothing works, please please please GO FIND YOUR LIFE. It’s your life and you should not hesitate to live it the way you want, even if it means going away from your dearer ones. Always remember to be in a situation (you set up the situation if it isn’t that way right now) where you can stay happy in life and enjoy every moment of it 🙂

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